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Green Ghost Hot Sauce: Evil in a Bottle

July 30, 2011

They say information is power.  I wish I had followed that little diddy and checked out Tijuana Flats’ disclaimer on Green Ghost hot sauce before I engaged in self immolation during lunch.  Their site noted the following about this delightful condiment:

Green Ghost – Made with Naga Bhut Jolokia, Worl’d Hottest  Pepper. Jalapeno 5,000 scoville units. Habañero 200,000 scoville units.  Naga Bhut Jolokia 1,000,000 scoville units. Add it up, and you got hot. USE WITH EXTREME CAUTION”

I was blissfully unaware of the above and after placing my order strolled over to their hot sauce bar.  I grabbed a couple small white paper cups and decided to try one of their hotter sauces.  I saw one called Green Ghost.  On the label advertising it a “spicy” was a smiley face with crossed out eyes that looked like he was in pain.  I should have heeded this warning but instead I ignored it and filled my paper cups.

The sauce was a dark green color that resembled something from a swamp.  It was soupy and looked angry. I poured the sauce onto a chip and popped it into my mouth.  There was no pleasant heat from this sauce.  In its place was a seering heat that made me break out into a sweat.  It lingered and I gulped some coke to try to make the burning stop.  Pain is all I felt. Calling it “spicy” would be like calling the honey badger “scrappy.” As I finished the cup the cute waitress came by and asked which sauce I sampled.

“The Green Ghost. Its kinda hot.” I said trying not to look like a sobbing child.

“Really? You tried that one? Wow. How much did you eat? Do you need some napkins? How about some water?”

“Nah, I’m cool.”

“Really?”

“On second thought, the water sounds great.”

She returned a few second later and left the water on the table.  My mouth was on fire so I natually decided to try another swig of the sauce.  Same seering heat.  This stuff was evil in a cup.  I offered it to my friend Joe. He shook his head and told me there was no way he was trying the Green Ghost.  Joe is a smart man and I cannot wait to try it again.

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