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I’m a Cutter

November 18, 2012

I hate azaleas. My relationship with them is not one of mild dislike, but rather white-hot-bulldozer-driving-ripping-them-from-the-ground hate. They surround our yard and have slowly evolved into towering green masses full of green briars, saplings, and wisteria.  It is a sisyphean task, and cleaning them out on a bi-annual basis has been my chore since we moved into our cottage.

This morning I decided to tackle the bushes.  My neighbor had loaned his trimmers with a 30″ blade to his son so I headed to Thomasville to buy a set of 28″ pruners from Lowes.  I made sure to check they had them in stock, which of course meant they were fresh out when I was arrived.  Instead, I grabbed a 100′ extension cord, and resigned myself to using the tiny pair of trimmers in my shed.

Since the last time I used ours, I had forgotten they were on 18″. Normally this  would mean trimming would take more time. With our monster bushes it meant I had to trim the middle portions from inside them. By the end of the afternoon I looked like a teenager with an affinity for razor blades. My arms were covered in cuts and scratches. My legs were cut up. I was covered in sweat. I was bloodied, but the damn azaleas were cut.

One final delightful note that summed up my afternoon, as I was finishing I tugged the extension cord and it somehow landed on the teeth of the moving pruner.  Amazingly I didn’t electrocute myself, but I did destroy a brand new $20.00 extension cord.  Does anyone have a back hoe, or some highly toxic pesticide I can borrow?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Dana permalink
    November 19, 2012 11:04 am

    I agree. Azaleas only need to be on acreage way far away from the house. They bloom for about 2 weeks and the rest of the year they are ugly and harbor mosquitoes. They are not easy to get rid of either. Best of luck and don’t feel bad about eliminating them. There are much prettier plants with less trouble that can be planted. Maybe Cypress trees, nice evergreen that provides privacy and can be decorated for Christmas. Maybe blueberry bushes. YUM.

    You have a great yard and you do not need azaleas. Might be worth getting it back hoed to get rid of azaleas.

    I share your opinion of azaleas.

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